money health weekly


Money and Shame

shame can crush you

❝The difference between shame and guilt is the difference between 'I am bad' and 'I did something bad.'❞ -Brené Brown

A little boy is at school laughing with some friends. He has pretty good relationships at school. He's funny and can make people laugh. School comes easy to him, so he's able to help people with their homework. He's pretty fast and good at sports, so he likes to be active with others. He draws pretty well and likes to learn from others who share his hobby of drawing comic book characters.

When he leaves school, though, he is mostly a loner. There are a couple of kids in the neighborhood that he hangs out with, but he never hangs out with kids from school. While in school, he would overhear others talking about sleeping over at each other's houses. He is never invited over to anybody's house. The flipside, though, is that he never invites people over to his place.

It seems to him that all of the kids at school live in large houses in fancy areas of town that have fancy names. The story he tells himself is that when kids stay over at each other's houses, there stay up all night in large basements playing Nintendo and drinking RC cola. He doesn't have a large basement, nor a Nintendo, nor a house.

He doesn’t invite people over because he is ashamed. He wonders what would happen if they said no. He wonders what they will tell all the other kids when they find out he lives in an apartment and not a giant house. What would they think of him if they find out he has no Nintendo and no RC cola?

Shame kept this little boy from having more friends than he did. He wrapped himself in a shame bubble.

I know that little boy well because that boy is me.

stay out of the shame bubble


According to Karen Reivich and