❝Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.❞ -Søren Kierkegaard
It's 2015, and my wife and I are at an amphitheater in Denver, sitting in the grass watching Dave Matthews Band do an acoustic set. As they play a song called "Grace is Gone," a song about grief over the loss of a close loved one, I realize that many of their lyrics have existential undertones.
Their lyrics can be pretty dark: "you may find a lifetime's passed you by" ("What Would You Say"), "life is short but sweet for certain" ("Two Step"), "every day should be a good day to die" ("You Never Know"), and "we'll all be dead and gone in a few short years" ("Pig").
It wasn't until later in life that I started studying the philosophy of existentialism, but I was already primed for it. The main ideas are that we don't choose to be born, life will be stressful, we ought to live authentically, and we get to choose our own purpose in life. This can be useful in our financial lives.
Existentialism starts with the idea that there is existence before essence. In other words, previous philosophies assumed that there was an essence of being human, and once you were born, your duty is to fulfill that essence. Existentialists turn that around and said we didn't choose to be born, therefore we first exist, and then we decide what our essence is.
Meaning and Purpose
Once we are born, it's up to us to figure out our essence. We have the opportunity to find our own purpose, and that purpose creates meaning in our lives. This purpose does not have to be some grand purpose of a large-scale. In fact, it can be more meaningful to find a local purpose.
Nobody knows when we will die, but we do know that we will die. It's common for people on their deathbed to express regrets regarding how they lived their lives. You don't have to wait until your deathbed to realize you've been misliving. Finding your purpose helps you design a life that you'll be happy to look back on from your deathbed.
Existentialism says that we are responsible for everything that we do. Because of this responsibility, we feel a lot of anxiety because if we're responsible for what we do, then we're accountable for the consequences of our actions. Therefore, we tend to avoid responsibility so that we can reduce that anxiety. This leads to us living in a way that isn't true to ourselves.